Changes

This 'boy' with boundless energy and optimistic attitude recently let the rose colored glasses slip to the end of his nose for a moment and discovered he needs a bit of a break. A break from constantly going, constantly running from one place to another, constantly striving to achieve.

Yes, the 'boy' is yours truly.

The wonderful thing is that once I decided I could use a break the universe conspired to make it happen. I have been taking classes non stop for the past six years - first as part of the Hello Friend/Cosby Scholars Program and then as part of my doctoral studies in Language, Literacy and Learning. This past semester I began to feel a tad burned out.

Instead of reading journal publications during my two hour morning commute I found I wanted to sit with my copy of Entertainment Weekly. I wanted to watch Ugly Betty rather than focusing at my computer writing a paper. I wanted to wrap presents and listen to Christmas music instead of typing up a transcript. This past semester was a little difficult for this reason.

So when I found out that the class I had registered for in the Spring was cancelled and there were no other classes being offered that I needed, I was not too disappointed. Sure, it will delay my progress but without enjoyment what does it matter. I need time to regroup so I can reignite the fire that caused me to begin this whole process in the first place.

What I really want to do is focus more energy on the kids I teach, not that I have ever neglected them of course. When I first began teaching I went to bed every night at 9:30 so I would be totally available to my students. I never wanted to be tired or distracted. Now, there are nights I am not even home until after 9:30. Teaching the young ones is what sparks me. I am well aware that we are all 'students' in life but for one semester I simply want to be just a teacher.

I suppose knowing when to step back and enjoy the view is a blessing. And I do feel blessed in so many ways. I do.