Happy Birthday Linda!

If there was a soundtrack to my life it would be the music of Linda Ronstadt.

She is 61 years old today. It is truly impossible to express all that her music has meant to me as I've journeyed through this life, but I'll try...

My infatuation began with It's So Easy which a guest vocalist sang to a bunch of prepubescent adolescents at a special assembly when I was in Junior High School. I did not know the song but the scary opinionated girl behind me sure did. She had evidently heard it before and was none too thrilled with the vocal stylings of the young lady performing on stage. In a thick Long Island accent I overheard her balk to her friend that she "didn't want to listen to no skank f--k up her favorite song". Being a civilized and timid youth I was quite taken aback by her remark but I proceeded to become lost in the guttural sounds the singer on stage was producing.

When I got home I told my mom about the assembly and the girl who sang some cool song by someone named Linda Ronstadt.

That Saturday while I was expressing my creativity in ceramics class my mom and little sister did some shopping. When they picked me up my smiling mom surprised me by handing me a small gift in a Sam Goody's bag. It was a 45 by Linda Ronstadt! I remember this moment very clearly, standing in the parking lot, the look of the record label, my little sister trying to contain her enthusiasm until I opened the bag. The song was Blue Bayou. I remember being so excited and all I wanted to do was run home to my record player and listen to it. When we finally did arrive home and listen I quickly realized that it was not the same song I had heard at school. But, I really liked it. So the following weekend I trekked on down to Two Guys department store to purchase Simple Dreams.

I was hooked.

All of the events of my life can be linked to a Linda Ronstadt song. The first song I ever sang in public at a bar when I was 18 years old was Birds from the album entitled Linda Ronstadt.

I listened to Somewhere Out There in my first apartment in New York City while I wrapped a stuffed Fievel for my nephew.

I roller skated to How Do I Make You and struggled through the lean years at NYU with Linda and the Nelson Riddle Orchestra.

I fell in love during Don't Know Much and had my heart broken to Frenesí.

As luck would have it, my years of obsession finally paid off. I was at work one morning (this was before my teaching days) and there was a contest on the radio. They were asking listeners to identify 10 Linda Ronstadt songs in 10 seconds. The winner would get front row tickets to see Linda at Radio City Music Hall for the Feels Like Home tour. OOH, I could do this. Bring it on! They played the 10 second clip and I knew them all. I called in and rattled off my list. I was promptly asked to hold because they wanted to put me on the air. When they did I repeated my song list although I am afraid that I came across as a bit too manic with my persistent question:

"DO I GET TO MEET HER???"

No, that was not included. Here is where years of watching I Love Lucy paid off as I devised a plan to finagle my way backstage one way or another. The night before the show I tossed and turned in bed wondering what I should say to this woman whose music meant so much to me. I was sure that I would figure out a way to meet her.

The next night I waltzed up to the front row feeling nervous and expectant. Of course, I had already purchased tickets to this show but when I won the radio contest I gave them to a friend. So I was feeling the love of the audience myself. I was seated beside a young woman and her mother who had also won a radio contest. They had a better prize; front row seats, Linda's entire music catalog (as if I needed that) AND backstage passes!!!!

She became my new best friend.

I turned on the charm full blast and by the time a Radio City employee came to escort her backstage after the show there was no way I was going to be left out. I followed them upstairs to a crowded dressing room full of 'meet and greet' folks. My eyes darting around the room, my hands shaking, my heart pounding so fast you could see it. After several years of waiting in this cavernous room an elevator opened and out stepped Linda Ronstadt.

Me...in...the...same...room...with...Linda. What do I do now? She was walking towards me and I didn't know what to do. She tried to get around me but when she stepped to the side so did I and we proceeded to do a little dance, back and forth until by some miracle she made it past.

I stepped back into the hangers and waited for my turn. What will I say?

Then...

"Hi Linda. You know I was in bed last night thinking that I have loved you for more than half my life!"

Awkward smile. Forced small talk. Pose for a picture. Get an autograph. Breathe.

Notice my manic expression, the crazy eyes, the tremendous JOY.

Then, take a look at Linda thinking "When is this over?"

Now I can check that off of my list of things to do. I regret that she and I will probably never become friends (I say probably because one never knows what the future may bring). I do not really like to call myself a fan - it belittles our relationship. Okay, I do realize that makes me sound like a crazy person but I would like to have an opportunity to meet her on equal terms. Not as some gushing, crazed, starstruck lunatic but as a person she would be interested in meeting. If I meet her again I hope to retain a shred of dignity. Still, I am happy that I can get so worked up about things. It speaks of a capacity for undying passion and an openness that I am glad to possess.

Happy Birthday Linda! Thanks for the memories.

Instead of including the familiar tunes I chose a song that she never recorded for your viewing pleasure. Ain't she purdy?

If you are not familiar with her music may I suggest downloading the following: Blue Bayou, You're No Good, Still Within the Sound of my Voice, Walk Away Renee, Ooh Baby Baby, Different Drum, Try Me Again, Long, Long Time, What'll I Do, Love Has No Pride, Lose Again or any of the aforementioned tunes.