Monday, March 2, 2009

Tips From My Mom #9

The eyes are the windows to the soul.  

In class sometimes I have to put on a stern face to show my students that I mean business.  The time for fooling around (or "foola, foola", as I often call it) has come to an end and we need to focus.  But inevitably my efforts are shot down when the little ones look into my eyes. They can tell I want to be silly too.  Darn those windows to the soul.

I have tried to keep the shades drawn but to no avail. I've even tried to experiment with it.  Just this past Friday I was giving 'the look' to our energetic student Jeremy and trying hard to remain serious.  As I held my outward facial expression I inwardly altered my tone.  The minute I let down my guard he looked at me and said "You are funny".  So much for that!

In an instant he could tell.  Just from my eyes.

In this I also knew that he knew how much I treasured him.  I knew that he knew I thought he was funny too and that I get a kick out of his antics, even as he tries my patience. He is just too adorable.

It's nice to see that look in another persons eyes.  The acceptance. The love. The knowledge that someone gets a kick out of you, treasures you, wants to be around you.

There are two old photographs of my mom and I that express this. Mom beaming at me...

And me smiling at her in adoration.

I love these photos for this reason. All through my life I have noticed when people look at one another with this feeling of love. I've seen it on Lauren's face when she is working with a student. I have caught my dad gazing at my mom (quite often) with this expression on his face, I have seen it in the faces of my friends and lovers. It surrounds me.

If the eyes are truly windows to the soul then I have been blessed to know an exceedingly large number of gentle and loving souls in this lifetime.  I am thankful and grateful. It started with my dear mom who I am positive spent many nights watching her little ones in our cribs.  How wonderful to grow up surrounded by this much love. Pass it on...

15 comments:

mouse (aka kimy) said...

how I love these tips from your mom!! always so true!!!

better not play poker with jeremy....or any of your kids for that matter!

I adore the expressions on your face and your mom's in that first photo! what love....and in your eyes what sparkle and a bit of sweet mischievousness!

a lot of love can be conveyed by the simple act of gazing.... doing my best to pass it on!

Reya Mellicker said...

You have worked hard as an actor and teacher to express yourself. You communicate so much through your eyes - it's a beautiful part of you.

So your students can see right through you. Oh well! They know you're beautiful, too.

Dumdad said...

How true this all is. I used to stare for hours at my kids when they were tiny in their cots. A never-ending source of wonder. I still gaze on them in awe and love. What a silly old sausage I am sometimes!

WAT said...

Wow, Imma have to look through some old pics now to see if anyone is looking at me this lovingly! They freakin' better be! LOL!

Now look into my eyes Gary. What do you see? Do you not see the intense sex...UH...

Nevermind.

Barbara said...

This is so incredibly sweet. I hope my own children sense this degree of love from me. The eyes so quickly communicate everything we are thinking and feeling. It's hard to deny them!

Steve said...

What a great post. I think there's a skill in perceiving that love you're talking about -- I love many people and I'm sure I'm loved by them, but I often doubt whether I'm very good at picking up the cues, you know?

Kids are funny because they're so perceptive. They understand so much and aren't afraid to just come right out and say it!

presious said...

Mr. Bliss,

I certainly remember those days as a young child. Mom or grandma (Mema as we called her) could glance from across the room and all of us kids would immediately come to attention. One might see three girls, and our cousins too, suddenly, calmly become very quiet and take a seat. Mom nor Mema would utter a word, but the behavior of the children would definitely change drastically! LOL! That is truly old school! I do it to my kids today! It still works too Lol!

J. David Zacko-Smith said...

As usual, Gary - a wonderful post. You do have revealing eyes, and your mom is right on.

Salty Miss Jill said...

Very sweet. :)
Love these pictures!

lettuce said...

:-))


thats all

Pauline said...

It's so obvious there in the photos. Don't you just love that little light that is so visible in a person's eyes when the love they are feeling is allowed to shine through? On the other hand, "The look" is the best disciplinary tool I know of. My mother could do it to perfection. I had no doubt she still loved me from somewhere inside herself but when she looked at me like "that" I was instantly well-behaved.

Mom said...

It's great to be Loved! And you sure are! All my love, Mom xxxooo

Gary said...

Kimy - I didn't even think of poker. I'm sure I would give everything away as I would probably giggle and bounce if I got a winning hand, everyone would fold before I could collect.

Reya - You are right. It takes a lot of work to make life look easy doesn't it.? There is always so much going on behind the scenes that shines through in our eyes. I was actually thinking of your dancing, mischievous eyes when I wrote this. You have such great expression and life in your sweet orbs.

Dumdad - I'm sure your children appreciate the 'silly old sausage' and feel comforted and loved because of you.

Wat - Success?? (with finding old pictures, not with the sex - I'll have to visit California again one of these days.)

Barbara - One day your children may blog about their mom and share loving, sweet stories about you. Or perhaps write a book. Who knows? Knowing you I am sure that they sense your immense love for them.

Steve - I am still so glad to see you back in the blogging world! Excellent. Next time we're together we can role play different emotions so you can become more perceptive about what folks are throwing at you.

Presious - Oh, the look! How wonderful when it works. I need to work on mine. I get it initially but it never lasts. Kids are always on to me.

J.DZ-S, Jill, Letty - Thanks.

Pauline - That is the trick. To master 'the look' so that you come across serious but also loving. Quite the technique. Kudos to your mom.

Mom - What can I say? You are the best!

Arielle Lee Bair said...

Gary, that's so funny. When I used to teach art at the Boys&Girls Club during college, I had to yell a lot to show I meant business. I had to get fierce. It was a pretty inner city area with a lot of kids who were just plain not used to being reprimanded...who led hard lives...and who needed some discipline. Unfortunately, I'm small and young-looking, and not scary at all. I used to yell at them or scold them for something and they would just laugh and laugh at me. Never worked. Not once. They told me I was funny.

I think, though, that I'd rather be the kind of teacher who is laughed at for being too kind than the kind of teacher who is hardened by the world and straight-faced all time. Wouldn't you?

Ladrón de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

The eyes are the window to the soul, but I wonder what those vintage hair cuts are windows to?

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