Monday, May 7, 2012
I am innocently walking to Fordham University to teach a class when an attractive older woman approaches me at Columbus Circle and says,
"You look like someone who works around here".
Thinking she might be lost and in need of my assistance I reply,
"Oh, yes. I'm an adjunct at Fordham University right over there (I point)".
I added that last bit because I thought it would add credibility and speak to my ability to steer her in the right direction and set her on her merry way.
But instead she looks at me with bedroom eyes and a flirtatious smile and tells me that I remind her of a gentleman friend who used to come up to her apartment and well, you know...
"What? Oh, how nice" I sputter.
Inside I am thinking, "Is she coming on to me? Does she think I will sleep with her? Is she trying to distract me so someone can steal my wallet?"
With my hand securely over my messenger bag I smile but act like I don't really get her underlying point. She then asks me if I would like to come over to her place which is just around the corner. She hands me her card. I politely decline.
"Oh, no that's okay. Thanks anyway."
She will not be swayed. She follows me as I continue to walk telling me that I should take her card in case I change my mind. Finally, I slip away but the encounter has freaked me out. I immediately call my best friend Joy to relate this experience. What the f*%# just happened? And why did this woman, who was older than my mother, think I would sleep with her?
Joy talked me down and calmed my theatrics but the exchange still left me feeling uneasy. And when I am uneasy I talk. A lot. I told all of my friends about this and one of them asked me if I heard about Betty White's new show "Off Their Rockers". I hadn't.
It turns out I was one of the "unsuspecting young people" pranked by a senior citizen. I watched the first episode and sure enough there was the woman who tried to seduce me, Ann Benson, strutting alongside Betty White in the opening credits.
Now I wish I did take her card because maybe it would have read "Ha! Got you!" or something. I keep watching the show to see if I turn up but as nobody asked me to sign any permission waivers I figure I was just practice material. But who knows?