Monday, May 7, 2012

Sleepy

There are eight million stories in the naked city.  This is one of mine...

I am innocently walking to Fordham University to teach a class when an attractive older woman approaches me at Columbus Circle and says,

"You look like someone who works around here".

Thinking she might be lost and in need of my assistance I reply,

"Oh, yes.  I'm an adjunct at Fordham University right over there (I point)".

I added that last bit because I thought it would add credibility and speak to my ability to steer her in the right direction and set her on her merry way.

But instead she looks at me with bedroom eyes and a flirtatious smile and tells me that I remind her of a gentleman friend who used to come up to her apartment and well, you know...

"What? Oh, how nice" I sputter.

Inside I am thinking, "Is she coming on to me?  Does she think I will sleep with her? Is she trying to distract me so someone can steal my wallet?"

With my hand securely over my messenger bag I smile but act like I don't really get her underlying point.   She then asks me if I would like to come over to her place which is just around the corner.  She hands me her card. I politely decline.

"Oh, no that's okay.  Thanks anyway."

She will not be swayed.  She follows me as I continue to walk telling me that I should take her card in case I change my mind.  Finally, I slip away but the encounter has freaked me out.  I immediately call my best friend Joy to relate this experience.  What the f*%# just happened?  And why did this woman, who was older than my mother, think I would sleep with her?

Joy talked me down and calmed my theatrics but the exchange still left me feeling uneasy.  And when I am uneasy I talk.  A lot.  I told all of my friends about this and one of them asked me if I heard about Betty White's new show "Off Their Rockers".  I hadn't.


It turns out I was one of the "unsuspecting young people" pranked by a senior citizen.  I watched the first episode and sure enough there was the woman who tried to seduce me, Ann Benson, strutting alongside Betty White in the opening credits.

Now I wish I did take her card because maybe it would have read "Ha! Got you!" or something.  I keep watching the show to see if I turn up but as nobody asked me to sign any permission waivers I figure I was just practice material.  But who knows?

Stay tuned...

11 comments:

Xpressive Handz said...

LOVE that show!! :-)

Steve Reed said...

Ha! That's hilarious! I've never even heard of this show, but thank goodness you found out what was behind that proposition. Otherwise you would have spent the rest of your life wondering!

Gary said...

X - It is a fun show to watch.

Steve - Exactly! I don't know why it freaked me out so much afterwards but it's nice to be able to put that bizarre behavior in its place.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

omg - that is TOO MUCH! i also never heard of the show.

if she wasn't with the show, she could have just been off her rocker - that's not to say you wouldn't be a great catch..... but really

Elliot MacLeod-Michael said...

Wow, that's kind of awesome. Haven't seen or heard of the show though.

junkthief said...

Being elder-punk'd seems to be a new trend. I saw a few minutes of the show while travelling and can't exactly recommend it. Unless you are filmed, of course.

Gary said...

Kimy - I really thought she was off her rocker and it made me really, really uncomfortable. I wish I had known though because she is Robbie Benson's mother and I like him.

Elliot - Thanks for finding FYB and commenting. Welcome! When I was little I used to watch Candid Camera and thought how cool it would be to be on of the people being pranked. I finally was! It's awesome in hindsight.

Gregg - I watched the show last night (2 episodes - no me) and it is an enjoyable bit of fluff.

Ms.M said...

ROFL, Oh this is precious! I have seen the show and I have laughed hysterically at it. You will deff have to share if they do contact you. LOL

Thanks for the laugh this morning.

M

Arielle Bair (Becker) said...

That is hilarious and awesome. :-)

Pauline said...

well huh! the world becomes stranger by the day!

Gary said...

Ms. M. - I doubt it will happen. They have no idea who I am and I didn't provide any information. It's probably for the best.

Arielle - :)

Pauline - Indeed!

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