Sunday, September 26, 2010

Tips From My Mom #12

This year my mom turned 70!

She is absolutely beautiful but when she looks in the mirror she asks herself, "Who is this old woman looking back at me?"

The physical self does not match the image in her head. But, as Linda Ronstadt stated back in 1995;

"I'm 48 years old. I don't look like I did when I was 38; I don't look like I did when I was 28. It's got to be O.K. somehow. You've got to look in the mirror and go, 'This is reality, and it's all right.' I don't want to hide from that."

There is something to be said for aging gracefully.

My mom does not lie about her age because to do so would be a rejection of some part of herself.  Which year(s) are worthy of elimination?  Each experience has brought her to where she is at this moment.  They have made her the incredible woman she is today and are building the even more amazing woman she will become tomorrow.  Each day is important.

The energetic, playful child stays alive in each of us.  It is that essence that makes my mom want to dance when she hears the music of the 50s and 60s.  Elvis brings her to her feet and suddenly all those memories from her teenage years leap forward bridging the past and the present.  Music is a great equalizer.

I am 46 years old and to realize that it has been 21 years since my 25th birthday is shocking.  Now it is my turn to ask "What happened?" How is that possible?  I still feel young even if I don't look it.  But with another birthday approaching I deeply realize it is an occasion to celebrate. A time to cherish my past, recognize it, embrace it and be thankful for another year, especially in light of recent losses.

When I asked my mom for an ending quote for this post she said "I'm not going out without a fight".

Thank goodness!

18 comments:

Barbara said...

Brava to your mom! She's 9 years ahead of me, but her mantra has become mine. For most of us aging is a gradual thing, but these decade boundaries cause us to see where we are on life's continuum. Sometimes it's a little scary!

Reya Mellicker said...

70?? Wow. Actually that's not so far away for me. Bravo.

I love your relationship with your mom - you're both so lucky.

xxoo

willow said...

I envy your close relationship, Gary. Treasure it like a fine jewel. She's a wise lady. What a handsome pair you are! She looks very much like Audrey Hepburn.

patti said...

It's hard to really think that our mom's are as old as there are. In my eyes, she just can't be 80.. because if she is then I'm????? 46?? and I'm the youngest of 5. Well time does fly. They aged well, I only wish the same for you and I.

Dorothy said...

Gary that is a wonderful outlook you have about life. One I share. God bless your Mom who I think is great and was truly blessed with a wonderful son and family.

Dee said...

This is lovely Gary! On behalf of all moms out here -- thank you so much -- I agree with your mom! And she is blessed with a caring, handsome son!

Jacqueline said...

Gary, your mom is still beautiful!! I love the part where you said which year(s) are worthy of elimination?!We should all live our lives with no regrets...

J.J. said...

love u mom

Johny said...

Gary your mom is lovely!

Gary said...

Barbara - It is gradual but going through the decade boundaries can make us realize that we are no longer the person we were in the past. I like thinking that that is okay and refuse to lose sleep over something like that. Acceptance makes for less stress.

Reya - It really isn't so far off for me either. But, there is a lot of stuff that I get to experience between now and then so I plan to make the most of my journey. My mom and I do have a great relationship. She is my mom but also a great friend.

Willow - She is a wise lady but I love when I tell her that she inspired a post she says "oh, I didn't even know I was that smart but it's true". I tell her I am always listening!

Patti - Your mom is 80! Good lord. I think since I have not seen her in over 20 years I still think of her as 'young'. That is all relative anyway. One day we'll look back on being 46 and think "we were so young back then". Tell your mom I said hello. xo

Mickle in NZ said...

Dear Gary - you Mom is a very beautiful woman, Ithink even more beautifulnow than in the photos of her at a younger age. And she carries a strong inner beauty too. I wish your dear Mother a very happy time now and thorugh her 70s.

My dear Dad will be 80 years young in December, and I'm sure he is in better shape than me!

Sending care, love and huggles to you each and both, Michelle down in Wellington, NZ, xxxxxx

Gary said...

Mickle - You are so sweet. I will be sure to pass along your comment to my mom (and the others as well). Love and "huggles" to you and Zebbycat as too. And thanks for sending the Pooh link to your friend. I appreciate it.

ciara said...

your mom looks awesome for 70! i never lie about my age, but then again it's cos no one ever believes me either :o/

i'm slowly returning back to blogging. nothing newsworthy yet, just some reviews, but soon :o)

Pauline said...

As a mom with kids in their 40s, I like hearing that you are always listening when your mom talks :)

Aging is a phenomenon we try to manipulate, wishing we were older when we're young, and younger when we're old. The trick is to look for things to take pleasure in no matter what your age. I've learned to ask myself, "What time is it?" and always answer, "now"; "Where am I?" and always answer "here."

Gary said...

Ciara - It is wonderful to see you back in the blogosphere! It has been a while since we last connected. I will be sure to pop over and say hello. Welcome back!

Pauline - I like that "now" and "here" philosophy. One thing that I do try to work on is settling my racing mind and body. I am always in a rush, moving so quickly even when I don't have anything particularly urgent that needs to get done. I am always focused on "what's next?" The only time that I am "here and now" is when I am in the classroom. That is a time when everything else can be put on hold and I am free to enjoy the moments as they unfold.

I am sure that your children feel blessed to call you mom.

Steve Reed said...

Yay mom! My mom is 73 this year. Fortunately she's pretty matter-of-fact about the whole aging thing, as am I. I've never understood people who dread birthdays or want to go backwards. I honestly wouldn't want to be any younger than I am now, because then I'd be a whole different person!

lettuce said...

happy birthday to your lovely mum

Gary said...

Steve - The point exactly. To want to change is to deny a part of who we are and I am sort of attached to that. And I love celebrating my birthday!

Letty - Thanks. My mum is quite pleased by all the kindness from FYB readers from all over the globe.

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