Small Moments of Bliss

Summer vacations!

They are another truly wonderful thing about being a teacher but one that I did not experience in the first nine years I taught. However, all work and no play made Gary a dull and cranky boy so last year I decided that I simply had to 'get selfish' and took some time to regroup. I walked away from teaching summer school and spent the summer riding my bike, reading, napping, working out and enjoying my family and friends. No regrets surrounded that decision. In fact, I plan to do the same this summer.

On Friday night I drove out to the land of my childhood, Long Island, to see my four-year-old niece in her first dance recital. Every time I visit I am reminded of how fast time flies and think back to the person I was, wide eyed and full of dreams. I find it hard to fathom that more than 20 years have passed since I called it home. I like the skinny, curly haired, innocent boy I was back then but it seems SO long ago. I am no longer any of those things.

As I drive I make mental plans to see my old friends; as if they are all still there waiting for my call. I think about the things I used to do...

Sitting on the hood of my brothers 1968 Pontiac Firebird under the streetlight at two o'clock in the morning writing poetry on my unicorn stationary...

Walking barefoot through the quiet neighborhood streets singing a lyric from I Ain't Always Been Faithful from Linda Ronstadt's self titled album that goes "Have you ever walked the empty streets until the break of dawn, just to hear some lonesome sparrow sing a lonesome song"...

Reading Tennessee Williams' A Streetcar Named Desire while the house slept...

Laughing over Benny Hill with my brothers and eating Bachmans Butter Twist pretzels.

While I drove it hit me that these were small moments of bliss. Moments that perfectly captured my essence, my happiness and my connections to the fundamental elements that inspire me.

Time stands still and passes quickly when one is lost in reminisces. Next thing I knew it was 2:00 AM and I had arrived. My (amazing and beautiful) sister J.J. and her (equally amazing) husband Mike bought the house I grew up in from my parents and now live there with their three children; aged 16, 8 and 4. The kids were sleeping but J.J. and Mike were still sorta awake. We said hello and chatted a bit before heading off to slumber.

Somewhere in the night my niece woke up and I went to tend to her. Actually, she seemed to be wandering and I swept her up in my arms where she promptly fell asleep. She was a bit hot and sweaty, getting heavier as her body went progressively limp and I thought "what do I do with her now?". I ended up putting her down where I was sleeping because I couldn't see through the darkness of her room. When she was settled I tried to sleep again but little kids move around quite a bit and one never knows when a sharp movement can result in a slap to the face. However the morning found its way to us and I awoke to the smells of Belgian waffles wafting up from the kitchen.

A leisurely breakfast was followed by 'getting ready' which can be a messy, chaotic process when children are involved. My niece smiled and posed for me in her stunning costume. She and five other little girls were dancing to "Build me up Buttercup" by The Foundations.

A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E.

After the show I spent the rest of the day playing with her and gaining insight into the world from her perspective. As I threw a baseball towards her to swing at with a mini 'hitter thing' (bat) on the front lawn, memories came flooding back to when I used to lie on the same grass and look up at the clouds to see the pictures they created. I shared these thoughts with her and she was instantly on her back gazing up at the clouds.

I was not sure if she was going to get this little activity but the minute she looked up she rattled off an impressive array of objects; a train, a dragon, a man, a sword, a castle, a face. As I was trying to locate the face my sister came out and joined us, then her husband. So the four of us were taking a moment to look at clouds. And it hit me...another small moment of bliss in the making.

AH! SUN-FLOWER

Ah Sun-flower! weary of time

Who countest the steps of the sun;

Seeking after that sweet golden clime,

Where the travellers journey is done.

Where the Youth pined away with desire,

And the pale Virgin shrouded in snow:

Arise from their graves and aspire,

Where my sun-flower wishes to go.

William Blake - Songs of Experience