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| Happy 80th Birthday Flowers |
I wrapped up Year 24 of teaching with a Zoom conference with my kindergarten students and their parents.
I'm told that the shared COVID health crisis experience strengthened the bond between all of us and it is a time we will all look back on with a unified pride. Hmmmm.....I'm not sure I needed a pandemic to take this class into my heart.
I actually feel cheated out of my time with them. There aren't many things that bring me more inner peace and happiness than spending time in the classroom teaching young children. That was taken from me 3 months ago.
We (me, my team teacher, Sarah, the students, and parents) made the most of remote learning. Some students thrived, others floundered, yet we figured it out together.
Today
It's my mom's birthday. She would have turned 80 today. She came to me again in a dream last night. I awoke at 3:30 in the morning, smiling from the pure joy of talking with her. It felt good to talk to her. She seemed happy. She said she's sorry she cannot visit more often, but she said she has to wait until the "edvetesments" are completed before she can gain more independence. I never heard of that word. I wrote it down and googled it. It's a mystery. It was kind of her to visit me on her birthday.
Today
I begin something new. My students and their parents allowed me to remain focused on things other than grief these past 3 months. I realize more than ever that my passion, my bliss is teaching. In the midst of unbearable sorrow, the smiles of my students, their stories, their enthusiasm, and their empathy sustained me. But, I also know I need some quiet time. Time to sit alone and get lost in thought. To grieve.
Today
I sat on my front lawn and watched the clouds go by.
Today
I saw a hummingbird for the first time this year.
Today
A bright red cardinal sat on the fence in my backyard when I was talking on the phone to my sister. She tells me they are a sign that our departed loved ones are near. It's sweet. I know my mom is close by.
Today
A beautiful bouquet of flowers arrived from my friend, Maria, with a card which read, "Dear Gary, Thinking of you and sending you love. She is with you always. Happy Birthday in heaven Beverly!"
Today
It kinda sucked and it was kinda amazing.
4 comments:
I sent your dream to someone with whom I share dreams. We are intrigued by them. We think they are something more than chemical flashes of absurdity. She is a highly educated person who sent me the follow response:
I looked up edvetesments and could find no such English word, even in the Oxford English Dictionary, but I did find that vetes is a word that means a single person in several foreign languages. (I didn't write them down and I can't remember them now). Ment means doing something or getting something done, and ed could be education. So, it could mean, To be educated, a single person must get things done. Or something like that.
She did not know your work. I think it means what one person can accomplish through education. What a delightful message and it directly applies to your very dedicated work.
Tom
Tom, Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this dream. Your interpretation of that strange word seems like a possible fit. In the dream, I had a vague notion that it was something to do with religion or a ritual to indicate moving on. I'm wondering if she'll come back and correct me, telling me I got it wrong and telling me again so I understand.
Gary, I had chills, the best kind, reading this. Your mom is with you, what a powerful spirit she is, who gave us you. Happy birthday to her. Thank you for sharing her with us. Yes, rest now, and grieve. She is so worth it.
37 - You always give me so much strength and hope. I'm so glad my mom knew about you and how you've supported me. Those things are what I hold dear in my developing understanding of what is really important in life.
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